Sunday, June 19, 2011

The 3 things that I am made of.

Okay well, here's another late night talking post. Sorry if I make no effing sense but its late and I thought this was a revelation LOL

So I was thinking about this in the shower today (LOL yeah I know, out of all places but I didn't want to get out because the water was nice and hot) and seriously came up with this idea. So yeah I started thinking about myself, and also lately I've been having these sort of conversations with my mom lately, trying to learn more about myself haha sounds cheesy I know.

But okay, basically 99% of my personality and things that I do in my life are based on 3 main things about myself (in no particular order):

1) My love for the color pink
2) My love for Japan(ese things)
3) Being blonde

Okay yeah they sounds hella stupid and superficial blah whatever, but lemme unpack this.

1) First, my love for the color pink.  This sounds stupid and I ALWAYS get asked how something as simple as a color can be so important to me but I don't know why it just is. If you know me, you know how I fcking love pink. I wear pink almost everyday (and if not then have some sort of pink thing) and I sometimes will not buy something, even if I love it, if it isn't pink. When I get boba or a smoothie I love the other favors but I literally cannot get another flavor because it is not pink (example, I love the mango smoothie more than strawberry but I always get strawberry anyways because of the color). A lot of people don't understand this, or if they don't know me well its like I'm making it up but I am really like this. Pink everything. I have other colors that I like (example, turquoise) but I will not wear it or choose it over pink in some way unless those once in a blue moon days, which happen very rarely.

But yes, back to the point. How exactly does this color effect me in the scheme of my life? Well first off you have to know that the most important things in my life (aside from the truly important-on-a-different-level ones like my family and my relationship), are shopping and my appearance. And god I know this sounds so effing shallow but its the truth and I admit it. Pink is the thing I base my entire appearance on, and almost everything that I shop for has to do with pink (even my shower cream haha even though it really doesn't fcking matter what color soap I use LOL)

So yes. To sum up, the color pink is one the things that make me who I am today. It literally is one of the foundations of my whole personality (and therefore life).

2) My love for Japan. This probably sounds like every other person who is in love with Japan and Japanese things but I'm going to talk about this anyways (and just to say this when I mean Japan I also mean Japanese things as well I just don't want to put both to save space!) The ways that Japan influences me and shapes my life and personality are in style, shopping, and even beyond these superficial things to classes I take in college and future ambitions. Like I said before, these superficial things (shopping and appearance) matter so much to me so this is a big influence. I follow a lot of Japanese fashion with magazines and do research online and things like that and that is what I basically base my whole fashion sense on.  Which also connects to shopping because yeah duh the things that I buy are fashion based and stuff like that you know what I mean?

Oh my gosh as it's getting later I'm making less and less sense, gotta finish this quick!

Okay then with the more serious things even with the classes that I've taken in college I choose the ones that relate to Japan and I talk about Japan a lot in my papers when I get the chance and things like that. And I've been travelling there a lot and seriously feel so happy when I'm there and really I feel like a whole other me when I am there. Example, I never used to car about simple things like nature and crap like that because god I don't even like going outdoors that much but when I'm there I want to see EVERYTHING even at the temples sightseeing I was so happy and if you know me that is like a big wtf because I never like those things. But yeah basically it changes me somehow. And the only thing I have every enjoyed studying in my if is Japanese language because I love it so much and yeah I think I learned a lot about myself and my study habits studying Japanese by myself lol) And as for future ambitions, I know that my life will somehow have to involve that country whether it where I choose to live or do work with or even just go shop I don't know but I know that I have to, one day.

3) Okay last is being blonde, and I know its only been a short time being blonde but it seriously has effected me SO much and it is a huge part of my life right now. Being blonde has made me feel better about every aspect of myself. Even though I have gained weight from last year I don't feel that bad or as bad as i would have felt last year. Last year if I even gained one pound I would literally cry and be so angry at myself and think that I am ugly, so fat, etc. And it is not to say that I don't have those thoughts now but it is more like fck i gained a pound! But oh my hair is so blonde and pretty... eh idaf i'll lose that pound later. I think it is my like ability to be attached and obsessed with things so easily that makes me like this with something as simple as my hair color, but it really really effects me. And my love for pink might have a little influence on this because FTW pink and blonde is probably the most beautiful combination ever in my opinion.

And it might sound like I'm being superficial and just obsessed, but I think I've been like this my whole life. When I was little I always had blonde haired dolls and my mom even told me she remembers that I have always wanted blonde hair since I was a kid (which I think is why she is kind of okay with it because she knows its like a life long dream for me haha) And even with the color pink, all of my favorite things to wear and to play with were pink.  Its seriously been a part of me since the beginning. 

And like I said before these 3 things are just the foundations of my life and personality, aside from my family and my relationship (both with my partner and friendships). I am a person who is not very opinionated, not very deep, so even though these things may seem sound completely stupid believe me when I say this is the truth.  And that is why my life is not filled with emo relationship or friendship drama that often, it is filled with shopping. LOL.

Oh my long post. I know this didn't make much sense but yeah just needed to blab about this! Hope someone found it entertaining. I'm dumb.

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