Rest in peace.

So I don't know how to show my emotions very well, and the only way I know how to cope with it is to just hide them.  I try to seem as happy and friendly as I can even when I'm feeling down.

Yesterday was one of the hardest days to keep doing that.

On Sunday I found out that my grandmother had passed away. For about a month now we've known that she was diagnosed with cancer and had a brain tumor.  I guess we knew this day was coming.. but I didn't think it would come so soon.  I miss her so much.

I wish I was nicer to her in the past few years.  She helped raise me as a child but sometimes I thought she was a nuisance. I shouldn't have taken her for granted because, I love her so much.  I've never lost anyone in my life before, so this- I just don't know what to do with this.

My mom isn't even here and I mean, its good that she's back in Thailand where she can handle things and be with our family-- but I would like some family too... I didn't even get to see my grandmother this year because I didn't have time to go back to Thailand because of college. I can't believe that when I go next time she wont be there.

Rest in peace, grandma.

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